What if it's joy?, finding your element + how to simplify your to-do list.
Welcome to this week’s A note from Jez: 3 thoughts from me, 1 quote, 1 question, 1 idea + some content for the curious.
If I’m honest, I’m surprised you’re still here.
I’m extremely grateful, delighted, and always somewhat confused that you read my writing. But the truth is I’ve sort of lost my way a bit recently with this weekly email and The Journey. I’ve been a little unsure what The Journey is and how best to give value to you. You’ve been witness to “the messy middle”: the bit that comes between severance/realisation/walking away, and the realisation of a new path/the outcome/repair. A little like with a relationship breakdown where there’s an initial separation and everyone rushes to comfort and reassure you in the moment of need. What follows is a period where you must find your way again, and that may well see you changing preferences, habits and behaviours, even if temporarily - the all-night partying, dubious partner choices, radical hair styles etc. It’s during this part that people aren’t sure what to do and tend to just look on, confused. Some even walk away. That’s certainly happened here and I don’t blame the few hundred people who have unsubscribed recently.
I thought my new focus should be on the slow and simple life because it’s incredibly powerful, and something I witness more of us being pulled away from as society and work gets busier, with more of our time being demanded and consumed. After all, how can we become more aware of the present and not let life pass us by until it’s too late, unless we slow down a bit? However, I’ve come to realise by writing about it and as my own journey shifts from “the messy middle” to a place of resolving (yes, we’re finally there, and more on that below), that what my work is all about is finding your element. Your ‘north star’. Your purpose. Indeed, it’s about finding joy.
Over the last 22 years of talking to hundreds of thousands of people and conferences and training events, the number one comment I’ve received is that people aren’t happy in their job or with something in their life. It’s extremely common. What links all those people is their not knowing what to do with that feeling. How do you leave a job without anything to go to? How do you follow your dream when it seems reckless to do so? Equally there are plenty of people who love what they do. How do they find more joy?
I have a clearer idea of how The Journey can be of interest and value, and help, to anyone who wants to find their element - or joy because the two are intimately intertwined. It’s what both my professional career and personal journey has been all about.
Next week marks 1 year since I launched The Journey so look out for a special email celebrating that. This weekly email goes to free subscribers, and those with paid subscriptions to The Journey, but I’m interested to hear all your thoughts and always reply personally. It’s a delight when you reply and to know I’m not typing into the abyss! Perhaps The Journey has helped you, maybe you want more content on a specific topic, or perchance my feeling that The Journey will move towards exploring thoughtful, curious and calmly compelling content on finding joy is something you’d enjoy. Would you like more posts on what I’m doing with the usual philosophical learning, or a similar format as now, with more structured thoughts on random topics?
As we all develop as humans, we inevitably change. With consideration and work, we change for the better. Read on to see where my journey is going next, and how everything is finally falling into place.
I hope you’ll stay for the journey -
What if it’s joy?
Until recently I’ve never touched clay in my life, other than when gardening. I’ve always had an appreciation for handmade, artisan crafts, and have "collected” (in the very loosest sense of the word) stoneware, in particular Japanese teaware, for a few years.
My Dad enjoyed pottery at school, but isn’t a potter. The closest I’ve come to ceramics is my Aunt who is a renowned and highly regarded porcelain restorer (and something of a real life Hermione Grainger when it comes to the miracles she performs on pots, statues and anything else in porcelain that looks - to my eye at least - beyond repair).
So it was somewhat of a surprise when several months ago I began to get drawn to the idea of pottery, seemingly out of the blue. I’m due to go on holiday to Cornwall shortly and booked myself onto a pottery taster workshop, only the more I thought about it, the more the notion of waiting weeks to do that became torturous! It’s as though something deeper needed to begin sooner; an artistic part of me that needed to surface. I found a local pottery school and, intrigued to see what this was all about, booked a short taster. I was instantly hooked. Working with clay was - and remains - utter joy. Everything feels like it is falling into place because what keeps us inspired, motivated, interested, and invested, in any endeavour, is the presence of joy.
1 Question.
When do you feel the most joy, and how can you create more space for that?
Finding your element.
Sir Ken Robinson (remembered by the
) was remarkable. Sadly, I never met Sir Ken, although worked several times with his good friend Sir John Jones.Sir Ken’s TED talks remain among the most watched of all time. And for good reason. A head teacher turned Government education tsar and advisor, Sir Ken was passionate about the importance of education to nurture individuals to become the best version of themselves. Interestingly, not what most education systems are built for.
One of his last books before his death borrowed the title from the phrase Finding Your Element. It’s a journey to discover true personal fulfilment, which is not necessarily the thing we are good at. Being good at something, and loving what you do don’t necessarily go hand in hand - as I found with my work advising businesses.
I’ve spent most of my career speaking around this, all-be-it from a behavioural perspective. However, I don’t think you realise the true importance of it and the impact it has until you experience it for yourself, as I have with discovering a love for making ceramics.
Finding your element is an inner journey (to begin with, at least), which is increasingly more difficult when we’re surrounded by so much noise and distraction. It involves as many moments of “no, it’s not this”, as it does “maybe it’s this”, before things finally click into place. However, that relies on your doing things differently, and experiencing different things. If we continue to live within the same constraints and frameworks, we will always see the same world. We cannot find something different if we’re looking in the same space.
1 Quote.
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris
How to simplify your to-do list.
If I was in a flippant mood I’d say the simplest way to simplify your to-do list is to simply cross everything off. Fortunately, I’m not in a flippant mood today.
Try this:
Rather than creating long lists, try the “3-3-3 approach”. Each morning, identify 3 must-dos, 3 nice-to-dos, and 3 things you’ll leave undone. It’s an extremely simple way to bring intentionality and helps avoid overwhelm. Remember that busy is not the same as useful. While being busy can feel productive, it's often a form of avoidance. An illusion. Sometimes doing less lets us face what really matters, like our creativity, our feelings, and our truth. At least two of those many of us actively avoid!
But it begins by embracing boredom. Boredom is simply time without agenda, so here’s a different way to look at that because boredom activates our brain’s default mode network. This is the part linked to creativity, reflection, and problem-solving. That’s why our best ideas often come in the shower or on a walk.
Maybe we shouldn’t fear boredom, but schedule it.
1 Idea.
The Buddhist Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh said “we are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive”. If we were to include more things that bring us joy into as many present moments as possible, our delight for the present moment would increase.
Content for the curious.
The BBC’s hugely popular wildlife shows Winterwatch and Springwatch (there used to be Autumnwatch, too, but budget cutbacks pulled that) have Nest Cams — quiet, real-time wildlife moments you can watch. Click here to enjoy moments of natural joy with your cuppa if you don’t have a view.
I’ll soon be sharing my pottery journey and my quest to find a studio online on a new Instagram and TikTok account. When that’s ready I’ll let you know as I’m sure my future writing will be influenced by my own life journey, and ceramics, but I’ll still keep the separate.
Did you know that as hermit crabs grow, and thus grow too big for their shells, they wait in line to swap shells for larger ones? What a beautiful reminder from nature that when we share space, we all grow.
Credit: Wil Meinderts / Buiten-beeld / Minden Pictures
