A note from Jez on: slowness, laziness + confusing urgency with importance.
Welcome to this week’s note with 3 thoughts, 1 quote, 1 question, 1 idea, and some content for the curious.
I received an email this week from someone telling me how brave I had been to walk away from my career without knowing what I was going to do next. She wrote: “Were you not worried you might regret doing it?”.
Of course. But my deeper regret was: “Will I regret not doing this?”. Very little is permanent. We recover. We can turn around. We can go back. But it’s in the space outside of our comfort zone when we feel pushed where growth lies. Shortly before I left for America I bought a print from the wonderful London-based artist Archie Proudfoot
, which says: Fail We May, Sail We Must.The important part for me, was “Sail We Must”. We make our own journey and must be brave enough to weather the storm because, to borrow another sailing phrase, “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”…
Confusing urgency with importance.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I lived my life over the last 20+ years before I stepped away from my career as a speaker. Recently I’ve been reminded how busy I was with seemingly urgent things. Or to be more accurate, things I perceived to be urgent. I would make a to-do list, and then mid-way through the week make a fresh, neater version of that same to-do list. Nothing had been achieved other than a less-aggressive looking list of the same things yet to be done. I’d add things into my diary and onto that burgeoning to-do list to get them out of my brain, which was already full of things that “needed to be done”. I’d catch myself saying: “I just need to…”; “I need to do….” never really questioning why I needed to do it.
What do we really need to do?
We often confuse urgency with importance. We have a self-imposed value of what we consider to be so urgent that it must be done now. But on whose schedule? If ours, why are we doing that to ourselves? On what conditions? And at what expense?
I’ve almost finished writing a reflection of 16 things my clients have taught me over the last 20 years as a coach that have changed my life (I’ll send it shortly in the hope it’s useful for you, too), and one that really stood out for me was that nobody gets clarity in a rush.
1 Question.
What’s one thing you’ve rushed lately that deserved more time?
Slowness isn’t laziness.
When I first began exploring the idea of a slower, simpler life and whether it was possible to live that way in the ‘real world’ (without having to check in to a monastery) I shared ideas of what that might look like and ways to achieve it from what seemed - to me, at least - instinctive and natural. It gained a lot of interest from friends, family, clients, and online. I suspect because the notion seems to resonate with so many of us.
While what I’m sharing is my personal journey and not all of it may be relevant for you, nor desirable, I’m hoping there’s plenty of inspiration. Over the last 6 months I have created the Slow + Simple Approach, which explains the principles, my approach, and some ideas for how to apply it.
For those skeptical about the idea of slowing or simplifying life, as I was initially to be honest, remember that like everything in our life, perspective is everything. There’s an important mindset shift that makes this work:
Slowness isn’t laziness; it’s deliberate attention.
We miss out on so much because we’re often rushing, filling our time with as much as possible - always doing something, and not living with intention.
Keep an eye on your inbox as very soon I’ll be launching a new style of retreat. One-day experiences to get away from everything and learn how to slow down I’m calling Slow Days.
1 Quote.
“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is a reality to be experienced.”
JJ Van per Lee
Simple doesn’t mean less.
I’m in an Airbnb looking for somewhere to rent*, waiting for my possessions to arrive from America. There’s not a whole lot remaining having thinned out much of what I owned before I left, and I’m itching to finish that clearing - it gets quite addictive!
Promise me something? If you see me walking around in my underpants, tell me I’ve gone too far.
However, living a simpler life doesn’t necessarily mean having less stuff. You don’t have to take it to the extreme that I did because I fell in love with this style. That style is especially attractive to me because of the clarity it represents, and is so different to how I lived my life before. It suits the new version of me. No, living simpler means having more of what matters, whether that be possessions, time, activities, or even people. It’s about curating the life you imagine, which can only happen if we’re present enough.
But we shouldn’t confuse simplicity with nothingness. I found that by simply slowing down, we free up the time and space to be able to enjoy the things we already have. And by slowing down, you’re able to think clearer therefore making more conscious decisions, allowing for simpler thinking. I think we’ve all bought things on a whim which we later regretted!… my last one of those, and a real wake-up turning point for me, was a taxidermy peacock from Ukraine. I know, I know.
This month I’m filming a 3-part course on how to live a slower, simpler life because it’s not necessarily easy to make that mindset shift but it helps create habits that soothe your system, not stress it out. Like all the courses, it’s free to subscribers of The Journey (click the button to subscribe for just 56p per week).
*(I’m pretty much open to living anywhere in the UK so if you have somewhere Woody and I can be for maybe 12 months do be in touch - maybe within 30 minutes of Cambridge, or perhaps a smallholding or farm, but also open to literally anything that has a garden and parking!)
1 Idea.
Have one “no-rush day” a month. Mark it in your calendar so you honour it (or don’t forget!). No alarms. No strict plans. Just space to move at your own pace. I try to do it every week on a Sunday; my sacrosanct day where I wake when my body wants to, have no agenda, and do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it (invariably there’s a lot of reading and looking).
Content for the curious.
If you’re considering a new hobby, what about 🐌 The World Snail Racing Championships: Yes, it’s a real thing.
I listen to a lot of podcasts and quickly get through an entire series so am always on the look out for new ones. My new podcast pause + effect launches soon but “The Art of Noticing” is interesting: micro episodes on paying attention and seeing the ordinary in extraordinary ways.
Did you know elephants sleep less than 2 hours a day? And often while standing up. I love elephants but sadly could never be one simply on that basis. I need 8 hours really, 7 at a compromise.
This was more popular than I thought it would be. I’ve got a few places I can accept but if you’re interested in becoming a paid speaker or learning everything I know about growing a successful speaking business, take a look at this one-off opportunity now as I won’t be doing it again.