A note from Jez on: slow + simple, pride + prejudice, + if only
Welcome to this week’s note from me with, as always: 3 notes, 1 quote, 1 question, 1 thought, and some content for the curious.
You might have thought things couldn’t get any worse if you were following my big announcement and indeed I thought I’d experienced enough. However, that wasn’t to be.
This week I move back to England and it’s more than a little stressful (subsequently a shorter edition of A note from Jez, please forgive me), but in the ultimate test, on the same day I discovered my US accountant has vanished and didn’t file my tax returns, and the IRS (the US equivalent to HMRC) are withholding $50,000 of my house sale that I have to apply to try to get back. I’m still yet to find a US accountant to help.
In brighter news, I’ve made some improvements to The Journey, and upgraded the membership benefits so paid subscribers get lots more. Subscribe for just 61p a week:
Slow + simple.
I’ve been aware of this for some time but sometimes things need to just sit and percolate for a bit before we do anything with them, don’t they?
Regular readers will know I recently embarked on a significant new life journey. As part of that metaphorical drawing a line under things, I realised there was an opportunity to do so in life, too. To start anew.
I want a simpler life. A slower life.
So I set out seeking ways to make that happen. How can we live our life the way we want it, in a way that is simpler, and slower - and more enjoyable?
Life just seems so busy, and noisy, and fast. Other people’s demands encroach on my time and influence and impact how I use my time - time which every second is falling away. Time we won’t ever get back.
Henry David Thoreau said that “the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it”
and I’ve recently really come to value my life a lot more. There was a time not too long ago that I honestly thought I wouldn’t be here.
I’ve spent 18 months questioning everything in my life: physical objects, possessions, subscriptions, people, opinions, beliefs, boundaries, and my relationship with each. I’ve removed a lot and I’m clear on why I have what I have and why I do what I do.
1 Question.
Do we have the right to tell someone we don’t know who they should, or shouldn’t love?
Pride + prejudice.
It’s funny what we celebrate.
In the US they celebrate Memorial Day. It’s a national holiday with special discounts, businesses close, and bars open for a long weekend. There’s really not much to celebrate about remembering service personnel who died in the line of duty. I’m certain they aren’t remembered while people head to bars and out for family gatherings.
June is that time of year when companies the world over change their logos to rainbows, and “celebrate pride”. Again, not a whole lot to celebrate and party about.
It all began in New York in 1969 with a riot, where gay and lesbian people resisted police harassment. The following year was the first ever pride march, it’s purpose a demonstration for solidarity and a call for equal rights.
And that is why, for me, pride has always been for everyone: gay, straight, black, bi-sexual - everyone. It is a call for solidarity. For unity. For humanity.
I’ve never quite understood people who are fascinated by trains. I’m more than ambivalent about trains. But some people are obsessed. I meet plenty of people who don’t like dogs. Personally, I love dogs. I’m not going to tell my friend that I think his wife is ugly, either (she’s not, Alex, it’s just writer’s rhetoric). Train-mad people and I won’t see eye-to-eye about trains, and dog-haters and I won’t agree on that, but we are all human. Who am I to tell them they are wrong? Or spit at them? Or throw a rock at them? Or beat them? Or kill them?
Because I love a man, in the eyes of many, I am lesser. And this is what pride is really about.
1 Quote.
"In a war of ego, the loser always wins.”
Buddha
If only.
I’m launching a new podcast called ‘If only’, which sees me interviewing special guests about pivotal sliding doors moments in their life. Things like:
If only I’d asked them out.
If only I’d said goodbye.
If only I’d forgiven myself sooner.
Our lives are littered with personal regrets, but it’s not the moment that defines us, but how we respond to it. I will write more about my time in America in the future. It’s been the toughest year of my life so far, and appears to not be over with the whole tax and accountant issue that got thrown into the mix this week.
Like everything in life, we have a choice as to what we carry forwards, and what we leave behind. Regrets are not useful; leave them behind. In every regret is a lesson that strengthens us, and brings us closer to the best version of ourself: carry that forward.
I’m choosing to leave behind a complicated, fairly stress-filled and busy life for one that is simpler, with clearer professional boundaries, and prioritises slowness and happiness.
It’s truly life-changing, and I wish I’d done it sooner. I’m going to show you how to do just that in a new course, free for subscribers, coming this month.
1 Thought.
Should we pursue success, or happiness? For me, for years, it was success because that goes hand-in-hand with happiness, doesn’t it? Well, and this may be obvious to some, but no. It doesn’t. At all. We can become a victim of our success, but we will never become a victim of our happiness. I’ve chosen to pursue happiness and it is changing my life.
Content for the curious.
Scientists use the board game Monopoly to prove that privilege rewires our brain. Click here.
Listen to this interview I did about emotion, intentionality, and the power of connection. Skip to 5 minutes 30 seconds in to get to my bit :)
When you hear “mindfulness” or “meditation” it’s likely you have a preconception. Sometimes that’s bias or negative. I meditate while walking Woody. I practice mindfulness for 123 seconds every 45 minutes by simply breathing and looking at me, you’d never know I was doing it. This is a beautiful example of meditation that I suspect is unlike anything you’d ever imagine meditation was.
In case you needed to hear this today.
Looking forward to the podcast ☺️