A note from Jez: May 21st 2025
on challenging belief, how to be more authentic, and asking "if only."
Welcome to this week’s note from me with, as always: 3 notes, 1 quote, 1 question, 1 thought and some content for the curious.
I was led to believe.
Much of what we believe to be true, or real, about the world - including our expectations of it, and of ourselves - we inherit. Either from parents or caregivers, the media, or our environment.
However, just because we believe something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Until very recently I believed it essential to hustle and that if I wasn’t working, I was being lazy. The presumed expectation was that I had to be working all the time, on something. That sat neatly alongside the other assumption that I should continue growing my business: from 100,000 to 250,000, to 500,000, and through 1 million.
But why? And at what cost?
What I’ve since learned is that life becomes much more enjoyable, interesting, and fulfilling when you replace the ends of sentences with more question marks.
I grew up believing I should always try harder. The result was a hustling mindset wired for validation.
I also grew up believing that vulnerability was a weakness. That resulted in being closed off from how I felt, not dealing with fundamentally important emotional needs.
I have come to learn neither of those things are correct, nor healthy. They aren’t any one person’s fault, but I am grateful my work has led me to research authenticity and purpose and given me the tools to unpick it all.
What things you believe to be true can you challenge, if only out of curiosity?
1 Question.
What grudges have you held onto for so long that they now own you?
I am therefore I am.
I was a guest on a podcast last week about the importance of authenticity. I’ll post a link when it goes live.
How can we be more authentic though? There’s a longer video about to release in The Journey for subscribers on this, but here are 3 simple things you can start right away:
Listen to your inner knowing
You know deep down when something doesn’t sit right, or you’ve made the wrong choice. Stop suppressing it. Act on it.
Let go
We hold onto a lot of things (beliefs, conditions etc), which are not useful and deprive us of being the real us. Start stripping those away.
Say “no”
More often. There is no explanation required. “No” is a complete sentence. No apology required either. This is your life. Your one life.
I haven’t revealed everything about the big announcement I’m about to make, but it is one of the biggest of my life. I’m not pregnant, just to squash that rumour. When everything is in place, and it nearly is, I’ll share the big news with you here first.
The Journey is currently undergoing some changes and paid subscribers will see huge improvements to layout and content, getting access to the new courses and video series, as well as being first to know full details of the in-person retreat I’m running in Portugal this coming November. I’ve also just lowered the price to make it even more accessible - do consider subscribing if you haven’t done so already:
1 Quote.
"Avoiding stupidity is easier than seeking brilliance.”
Shane Parrish
If only I had listened.
The little things count more. Don’t let the big things in life overshadow enough sleep, time without digital devices, the sunlight on trees, being present with loved ones, the company of friends, and a hot cup of tea.
If we let them, the big things draw us in, and we forget how important those small things are - until they’re gone.
I launch a new podcast in June, exploring the small every day decisions that turned out to be pivotal moments in our lives.
“If Only” shares the personal stories of choices we regret, or roads not taken, with reflection and expert advice - and I’d like you to be a part of it.
If you have a ‘sliding doors’ type story, I’d love to hear from you. Perhaps of how you met your partner, a life-long regret (“If only I’d taken that job in Paris”), or you’ve always wondered how things would have turned out differently (“If only climate change had been taken seriously in the 80s”).
You or your story could feature on the podcast and I’m hoping it will encourage us all to be more present to influence right now, when we understand the power of life’s what ifs and if onlys.
1 Thought.
I saw this online, sadly uncredited, but thought it was perfect for here:
“You are not a machine. You’re a soul who needs music, connection, sunsets, laughter, and small pockets of joy. Prioritise them like your life depends on it; because it does.”
Content for the curious.
I once found a piece of pottery while walking the dog and was convinced it was Roman. I kept it for months and did lots of research on it. It turned out to be a piece of a clay pigeon, probably from 1991. Click here to see how the internet helped identify some really odd things people have found.
Talking of old things, the world's oldest surviving teapot is a Yixing clay teapot dating back to 1513. I’m 41 and I think I’ve had at least 6 tea pots. I must be more careful.
This, unbelievably, is Vincent Van Gogh’s paint palette: