16 things my clients taught me that changed my life.
What 20 years of coaching 1:1 has quietly taught me about how we think, live, and grow.
This year I’ve been coaching individuals for 20 years. I’ve no idea where that time went, but the anniversary in my diary made me spend most of today reflecting on what I’d learned in that time, and the privilege of being a coach to many wonderful individuals. Entrepreneurs, leaders, creatives, foster parents, CEOs. Some wanted clarity, others needed courage, but all of them are seeking something more.
As a coach, people assume I’m the one offering insight. But the truth is, coaching is a two-way exchange. It’s as much about listening deeply to others and witnessing their questions, decisions, fears and breakthroughs and that has reshaped my own life, over and over again.
What follows are 16 impactful things I’ve learned from my clients that have stuck with me. They might change something in you, too.
1. Small changes change everything.
It’s rarely the grand gestures that shift a life. It can simply be saying “no” once. Setting a single boundary that doesn’t have to be anything remarkable. For example, going to bed 30 minutes earlier.
2. Clarity doesn’t come from thinking, it comes from doing.
You can journal forever, but nothing sharpens the mind like action. One of the reasons I got rid of my book collection (at one point some 3,000 books) was the realisation that I didn’t have all of the knowledge contained in those books. Knowledge is useless without action.
3. Everyone’s hiding something. Even the confident ones.
We all wear masks. The kindest thing we can offer others is space to take theirs off. It is the greatest privilege to provide that space and support for people.
4. Busy is often a defence mechanism.
I’ve learned to hear “I’m just really busy” as code for “I’m avoiding something uncomfortable.”
5. Self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it means you care.
The people doing the best work are often the ones second-guessing it the most. In that second-guessing but still moving forwards is bravery, if only a tiny flicker.
6. Clutter isn’t just physical.
Emotional clutter, mental noise, digital overwhelm; it all adds up. Simplicity isn’t aesthetic. It’s survival. As I came to see this time and time again in those I coach, it encouraged me to develop my Slow + Simple approach.
7. Most people aren’t afraid of failing, they’re afraid of looking foolish.
And that fear is where dreams quietly die. The realisation that no one cares, and that people move on quicker than we do is empowering.
8. Your ‘enough’ is yours to define.
Every meaningful change I’ve seen began with someone asking: “What does enough look like for me?”.
9. Pausing is a power move.
The most transformative coaching moments often came in the silences, not the strategies. It’s partly why I rejected the typical coaching trope of asking lots of questions. My personal style is as much about me guiding, gently challenging, and offering practical advice - allowing my clients time to listen, think, and reflect - as it is about reflecting with them.
10. Language shapes reality.
“I have to” vs “I choose to.” “I’m stuck” vs “I haven’t moved yet.” Tiny word shifts that create huge mindset shifts.
11. Nobody gets clarity in a rush.
Slowness is not indulgence, it’s intelligence. I came up with the Slow + Simple approach as somewhere to hang my hat; to help people understand what I champion and believe has the most effective weight for change. The more you look, the more you realise just how powerful the principles of simplifying and slowing down are.
12. Change doesn’t stick when it comes from guilt.
Lasting transformation begins with compassion, not criticism. Today is your opportunity to turn the page and start afresh, leaving everything in your past behind you.
13. Your calendar reveals your values.
Look at where your time goes. That’s your real priority list. It’s as simple as that. We all have the same 24 hours every day. Giving people time back is one of the most rewarding parts of my job.
14. You don’t have to fix everything.
Sometimes the most radical act is allowing, not solving.
15. The goal is not more, it's deeper.
More money, more clients, more followers... none of it matters if it’s not aligned with who you are.
16. You already know. You just need space to remember.
Almost every session ends the same way: not with me giving the answer, but with the client finding their own.
I hope they are of value to you.
It’s a quiet privilege to do this work. I don’t promote it on my website and over the years clients have found me, mostly recommended by word of mouth. To witness people rediscover their strength, speak more truthfully, and choose to live a little more deliberately is one of the most rewarding things in my life.
If anything here resonated with you and you’d like to explore how coaching could offer more clarity, calm or direction personally or professionally, feel free to reach out. I offer 6 1:1 coaching spaces each year. No pressure, just a conversation. You can email me directly at jr@thatjezrose.com
- Jez